Advocates, Make the Most of Visits With Your CASA Child
By Susan DePasquale and Michelle Schaefer
Monthly visits with your CASA child are critical to your role. How can we make the most of that brief but important time each month? The answer depends on the child’s age: The teen who’s mostly fond of one-word answers. The six-year-old who doesn’t want to sit still and chat. The baby who can’t talk at all. No matter the age, we’ve got suggestions to make the most of your time together!
First, it’s important to remember that while you visit your CASA child once monthly, that same child or teen is also regularly meeting with their DCPP caseworker, the resource family’s DCPP licensing worker, the Law Guardian or their investigator, the Children’s Health Unit nurse, perhaps a CMO worker, and the list goes on. Invariably, these adults are asking the same questions again and again: “How was school? How was your visit with Mom or Dad?” When this barrage of questions happens repeatedly, it’s not surprising that kids may simply tune out.
Although you may want answers to those questions, first find opportunities to build rapport with your CASA youth. You can try to learn the answers gradually, while setting the right tone for your visit.
Being more specific with questions can be helpful. Once you know your child’s interests, asking questions such as “How was cheerleading?” or “How was soccer today?” might yield better, more detailed answers. Children usually like to talk about themselves if it’s a topic they are interested in. A great way to break the ice is to play a game; it’s an automatic conversation starter and activity rolled into one.
Talking and interacting with babies and teens can be a bit more challenging. For teens, it simply may take a few more visits to get all the information you need. It’s also important to remember that there are more subjects that can be triggering for teens, so it’s best to start generic. Here are some examples of topics to discuss and ask about: School schedules, sports or other extracurriculars and interests, the upcoming school dance, or a school field trip. Or maybe pique their interest with antics on the school bus or during lunch in the cafeteria. How about the worst cafeteria lunch ever served?
Visiting with younger or non-verbal children can be very informative if you are observant during your visit. Does the baby interact with his or her resource parents or biological parents when they soothe and comfort them? Does the child react to environmental stimuli? Being observant of the child’s expressions and mannerisms can tell a lot. How the baby or special-needs child reacts to strangers is also important to observe and should be reported in your court report. Is the infant crawling, pulling up to a standing position, walking? Have their first teeth appeared? What does the toddler do if you ask, “Where’s your nose?” How do they react if you ask for a high-five or wave “bye-bye!”? Can the preschooler correctly name the color of a crayon or a ball? Can they count with you to five? All of these factors help the judge determine how well the child is doing or if there might be reason to have additional concerns about a child’s development, wellbeing or health.
Whatever the age, give your CASA child time to answer questions. Several CASA staff attended a recent conference during which a child psychologist advised waiting 10 seconds after asking a question for a child’s reply. As adults, we tend to reply to questions quickly, so 10 seconds may feel like a long time to pause and wait with silence, but children often need time to think and process. Waiting patiently in the silence, rather than asking another question, can be very helpful when talking to kids.
A great way to make the child “real” to the judge is including their picture in your court report. Many times, there are parties in the case who have never met the child, so a photo puts a face to the name everyone is talking about. This personalization can go a long way to reminding everyone about the child at the center of it all. Once you’ve done that, it’s important to update the photo every few months to show the progression of their growth and development. We all need that reminder that while we’re in court and doing all the things, a child is in foster care and time keeps ticking, and they keep growing.
Whether you’re a CASA volunteer for a young child, teen or young adult, it’s important to communicate one-on-one and get to know them. The judge can’t do it, but you can. So remember that the judge on your case is relying on your interactions with the child and family to better get to know the person for whom they must make life-altering decisions.
Susan DePasquale is an Advocacy Supervisor for CASA of Passaic and Union Counties, and Michelle Schaefer is Director of Strategy and Impact for Child Focus, and also serves as an Advocacy Supervisor with the CASA program.